Pushing On Daisy

For those in the equestrian community, whether you compete or ride for leisure, you have most likely come across bullying. Horse and Hounds’ recent article surrounding the issue found 76% of people in the industry have been bullied and 85% have witnessed it (Riders Mind). 

To see such high rates of bullying within our sport is extremely disappointing and unfortunately, I have witnessed plenty first-hand myself. I have spoken to other liveries that have left their previous yard due to bullying from the owner, dealt with liveries bullying each other and seen grassroots-level students at riding schools criticising other students and their riding abilities.

When asking my audience on my Instagram I found that: 40% have experienced bullying in equine sport and 40% had witnessed bullying/

According to the Anti-Bullying Alliance, the definition of bullying is “the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group of people by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological”. 

Types Of Bullying

Bullying isn’t always the rough abuse you see on TV, it can involve other less obvious actions. Soft bullying, according to Riders Minds, involves subtle emotional and psychological manipulation which can be difficult to spot. Examples of soft bullying include: excluding, lying, ignoring, finding fault, never knowing where you stand etc. 

With the rise of social media in recent years, cyberbullying is becoming a more common occurrence. The NSPCC defines cyberbullying as  “bullying that takes place online”, it can include: trolling, sending threats and abuse, shaming people online, creating fake accounts etc. I see this regularly on social media, Instagram Reels and TikTok Videos of novices riding often have comment sections packed full of hateful comments, criticising riders’ skills, tack choices and more.

During my daily scroll through my FYP on TikTok, I’m also seeing more inappropriate sexual comments on people’s videos. Many viewing the equipment we use and the clothes we wear as an invitation for unwanted comments. Even selling on sites like Facebook Marketplace has led to equestrians getting inappropriate messages, check out this message I got selling a bit last year:

Personal Experiences 

Due to being in the horsey community for many years, I unfortunately have witnessed my fair share of bullying behaviours. Although I want to avoid passing on too many details, I had a particularly difficult situation last year with a previous livery yard owner.

The yard owner (YO) started off appearing very sweet. Unfortunately, due to this, I didn’t do any significant research before I signed my livery contract and moved to the yard. For the first few months, it was very positive, I started to hear the odd negative review about the yard but paid it no mind as I was having a good time. 

The issues arose when I started doing work for the YO. Again, started fine, I was getting paid by the hour, doing the odd morning and evening throughout the week. I was given the opportunity to move on-site and do some more regular work (weekends and the odd bit of help throughout the week) which I readily expected.

I was informed by the YO that they moved in a rush, if I was happy to do my own cleaning etc I could move in a week or two earlier, which again I agreed to. The home was not in the best shape, sofas ruined by dogs (holes and stains), ripped lino, very dirty oven etc. I took pictures and started saving what I could, the oven I never used in my whole time of being there as it was grim and brought myself an air fryer.

I found myself working more and more shifts throughout the week. I worked weekends, every morning and most evenings (alongside my full-time job). I was also suddenly being paid by how long a task should take as opposed to how long it was actually taking. These times were not achievable, and even the yard owner could not achieve the times she claimed was possible. 

During this time, I was gifted my youngster Dippy, who I kept at the YO grass livery down the road. I did not sign a contract and I was not asked to purchase anything for the field. Dippy was going onto full grass livery and I was assured everything would be taken care of. 

Dippy was placed in a field with a gelding which was perfect as I wanted her to have company. As per common vet advice I kept her on the same diet she was on before she came to me. YO fed her two mornings and then refused because it was “too awkward” and the other gelding kept barging out the gate.

Another issue arose when my youngster, like most horses, started itching on the wooden fence poles in the field. These fence poles held electric tape which surrounded the perimeter of the field. Despite paying for full livery, no electricity had been provided and I was told I had to pay for the poles to be fixed. I was told it was my responsibility to buy a ‘booster’ so I should have to pay for the damage. 

Now, a booster had been mentioned at one point (by booster they meant an electric fence energiser) I was told “It might be an idea to get one”, I kept asking for a link as I wasn’t experienced and never got one. It would also not work if the batteries were dead (which it had been the whole time she had been at the yard). It is also worth noting, that the horse she was sharing a field with was also on full livery, didn’t have an energiser and also itched on the fence.

To keep the peace, I paid for new fencing poles and had them installed, costing me a fair amount of money. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have done this but at the time, I wanted to keep the peace.

I could write for hours about the harassing messages from the YO I received. But I will wrap it up!

When I changed jobs and had to work from an office I was kicked out of my home. The previous damage her dogs done I was blamed for, I got abused for accidentally leaving a rug and a cloth I had been using to clean. I handed over Daisy’s stable in pristine condition and I was refused my deposit (thankfully only £100) because of the ‘state of the mobile home’ which had nothing to do with my livery contract anyway.

The month I was moving, Dippy was still on full grass livery at the other yard, I made it clear I wasn’t able to visit whilst moving and again was assured she would be looked after. Ad lib hay was part of the deal, however, this was not provided and she had lost a LOT of condition within a month. 

Once I left, I heard more and more concerns about the YO. Multiple staff members and liveries left due to bullying. Some of the details I heard since are horrendous.

I almost gave up horses after that experience, I had lost all hope in the horsey community and found it difficult to settle into my new yard in case the same happened again. Touch wood, my yard owner at my new place has been good. 

What Can We Do? 

Firstly speak up. If you spot someone being bullied at your yard, or you are being bullied yourself, speaking up is the first step. When possible, speak to the person doing the bullying, whether you do this yourself or consult someone you trust to speak to them, they may be unaware that their behaviour is having a negative effect on you. 

Keep a record. Write down the incidents including the date, time, evidence and eyewitnesses. Use this information as a reference if you choose to take this further or are seeking advice.

Know the correct reporting procedure, each yard/group with have different rules depending on their governing body (if they are part of one), so ensure you are familiar with the process you will need to take. If unsure, check out online resources. Don’t be a bystander. If you see something happening, report it to the relevant person. 

Resources 

If you are looking for support and advice, I highly recommend contacting Riders Mind.

Website: https://ridersminds.org/

Call: 0800 088 2073

Text: 07729 774 117